Terms of Service

The suggestions and recommendations given on this website are not representative of anything any human should do ever. If you’re reading this then it’s not too late. The information here is complete and utter shit. It is solely meant for entertainment purposes and will not benefit you in any way, shape, or form. Should you enjoy the company of accurate information please seek out the door to your left and have a nice day.


+ Upon visiting this site you agree to give us your first born child, your mother’s maiden name, and your daddy’s mustache

+ After clicking a link on this site you must walk around your living room like a chicken while repeating the phrase “Monkey See Monkey Do”

+ If you’re reading this then it’s too late. You must go to the nearest Tim Horton’s and buy a large coffee, dump it on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop, and sing “this little spider”


Conditions are conditional, meaning that nothing is sacred. Our conditions stipulate many scary things that not everyone might appreciate. If you don’t like lies then consider yourself unfortunate. If you do, then keep reading! It’s ever so important to acknowledge the mysteries of life in general when you accept responsibilities for unnerving actions. Keep it light and the conditions will come to you…